Why did I DO that!!!!

Ok, I did a strange thing today and I don't know why I did it. Please do comment with your analysis if you ever get to read this!

I travelled by public transport today into London (from Enfield, still in London but some like to say Middlesex...it sounds posher apparently. Although anything with the word sex in it can't be posh in my view...just snigger-making.) by train to visit a particular shop I go to around once a month. I always take a large bag, it has wheels on it and used to carry a tent. It is perfect to take as you can fold it in half and carry it like a shopping bag while empty and it holds a hell of a lot when full.

So, ANYWAY, I take a bus from Liverpool Street Station towards the shop I want to visit, standing there looking out the window and wishing the rain would stop (it was raining, hence I was wishing that) and then ring the bell to alert the driver that I want to get off at the next stop.

I am standing at the bus doors when this older man, must've been in his early sixties, taps my arm and in a very strong foreign accent says 'Market, Market. Stay, stay'. I think he is asking me if we are near the market, so I smile and say yes, Market and wave vaguely in the direction of said market.

Older guy says 'no, you stay on bus one more stop. This bus goes down market road'. Now, here is where I do something that is really strange. Instead of simply saying, 'oh, no, I am not actually going to the market, I am going somewhere else and this IS in fact my stop', no. I say, 'oh, thanks!' AND I THEN STAY ON THE BUS!!!

WTF!

Thank goodness, the bus stop the older guy has FORCED me to stay on the bus for (I know, I know...he didn't hold a gun to my head - but even so!) is actually slightly closer to the shop anyway. Will get off at that stop in future - thanks, Older Guy!

The strangeness hasn't stopped here, though. Oh no. I am stranger still than that.

I get off the bus and notice Older Guy (note how he now has Capital Letters) gets off too. So I now HAVE to (remember, Older Guy is very very forceful, even without a gun) turn right towards the blasted market instead of left towards my shop.

Why? Why am I doing this? I am asking this to myself even as I DO do this. I find myself to be one heck of a strange person. I won't ever see Older Guy again, he will never hold up the non-existant gun to my head in that highly threatening manner he doesn't have, so why have I done what he expects me to do instead of what I actually should have done - gone my merry way to the shop I want to visit.

So there I am walking towards a very bedraggled market (my wish that it stops raining has totally been ignored by whoever it is that grants wishes - thanks a bloody lot, Wish Fairy!) and there are very few stalls left and those that did brave the rain have already half packed and ready to go. BUT I don't want to disappoint Older Guy. He is, after all, still not holding a gun to my head. I walk up and look at the miserable wares that are sitting in their rain-filled plastic containers, ink smudged prices that tell me this market is really a giant £1 pound open air shop, I even pick up something - God knows what - and turn it over and nod as though I have found the bargain of the year.

At the same time, I am twisting my eyes in my head, straining to see out of the back of it, to see if Older Guy has crept up behind me ready to pull the trigger and shoot me with 'you are free to do what you like' missile.

Of course, Older Guy has actually long gone his own way, probably forgotten me the moment I stepped of the bus. Couldn't give a monkeys what I do or who I am.

So there I am in a market, a fair bit away from where I wanted to be, looking at things that I so don't want or need, feeling, to be honest, like a complete idiot.

I wonder what people would think if they KNEW they had this sort of power over others.

I wonder how I would be if I could live my life without being forced to do things I don't want to do....